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TLL will not be accepting new posts until 1/15/2008
2007-12-30 21:53:00
Due to the move to our new url, TLL will not be accepting or displaying new posts until 1/15/2008 . Please check back for updates and the new url. Thank you so much for your patience and support.Kelly
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Attention TLL Authors
2007-12-29 06:50:00
This is a terrible time for my yahoo TLL mailing list to go down, but alas. Some of you should see an email from wordpress. Please read it and follow the instructions to set up your new Author profile for the new TLL blog. If you did not get an email and would like to remain a TLL author please shoot me an email and I will give you the details.I am hoping to have the new blog live by mid January. At that time all new posts will appear on the new blog and no posts will go live on this one. I will be setting up a redirect to the new blog. I will send out the new url soon so that both authors and readers can update their links.This may be rough for a bit, but we'll get through it. Thank you all so much for your patience and have a great and safe New Year!
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inevitable
2007-12-24 22:35:00
and I came across a slice of wisdom that said?you were never not going to be here?and it was rightthis was as inevitable as the tidesas the shift of seasonsas the cycle of life and deathmy whole life I have been spiralingtoward this pointand I no more had a choice about reaching thisthan I did about being born into this bodyor craving the taste of dark chocolate melting liquid on my tongueor having azure eyes that see morethan I can ever comprehend.it seems so clear now.i wonder how I didn?t always know.but of course I always knew.didn?t I?i knew it somewherein my deepest depthsand hidden thoughtsand ignored dreams.i knew that I would belong herein the arms of a womansoftness against softnessnestled curve against curvewarmth against warmthbreath against breathflowing endlessly together into the long, long night.Yes.it was as inevitable as night following dayas letters forming wordsas the rising of the sun.as the heady free fall of loveas the force of change itselfit was as if the un...

DIGG, the Technological Version of the Patriot Act
2007-12-22 21:59:00
One of the things I love about my Community, whether it be the blogging community, the GLBTI community, or the community in which I live, is experiencing our diversity. We are of all colors, religions, ages, sexual orientations or gender identifications, socio-economic levels, or any of the other differences that make us human, different, and special in our own special way. But, watch out?danger lurks in these here blogging waters, and it?s not the bloggers you need worry about! It's Digg . Who Are These Guys?From Wikipedia:?Digg is a community-based popularity website with an emphasis on technology and science articles, recently expanding to a broader range of categories such as politics and entertainment. It combines social bookmarking, blogging, and syndication with a form of non-hierarchical, democratic editorial control.News stories and websites are submitted by users, and then promoted to the front page through a user-based ranking system. This differs from the hierarchical ed...
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This is Hard
2007-12-22 20:53:00
This is a hard post to write, and I'm not even sure how to do it, but I'm going to try. In summer, 2006, my mom passed away. I, being the oldest of her 4 children, got to handle her estate, and for that, I was very glad to have been a paralegal for the previous 4 years. Long story short, each of the siblings received a decent sum of money; nothing huge, but for me it was the opportunity to be able to leave said dreaded paralegal job, and take some time to assess my life as it was and how I wanted it to be, and to pursue working from home part time as a medical transcriptionist, AND to take my dream trip to Spain as a celebration of my 50th birthday, which I had been planning for the past 7 years. Okay, all of that happened. As of November 15, I had officially been working from home for a year, did my travels, etc., etc. It was a great year, and as frugal as I tried to be with the money, it's about gone....so....I now find myself still up in the air about "what I want to be w...
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erase hate
2007-12-20 20:17:00
Like so many others, I was so deeply disappointed last week to learn that the Matthew Shepard Act had been dropped from the final version of the Defense Authorization Bill.I clearly remember learning about the brutal hate crime that resulted in Matthew?s death. I was a year out of college, planning my wedding, and was feeling as if I had the world at my feet. I was still deeply in denial about my own sexuality, but can recall following the news reports with a sense of horror and grief. Reading the details of what this kind-eyed boy, just a year younger than me, had gone through?it was, and is, beyond my ability to comprehend.If it had passed, ?The Matthew Shepard Act would have expand the 1969 United States federal hate-crime law to include crimes motivated by a victim's actual or perceived gender, sexual orientation, gender identity, or disability.?* Seems pretty straightforward right?It has been nine years since Matthew?s death. Nine years, and despite the efforts of Matthew?s fa...
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The GLBT version of DIGG and Genia's back!
2007-12-13 23:42:00
So I'm all about blog love lately. Us little blogs have to stick together after all. So before this blog gets huge and TLL is just a little twinkle in it's eye I would love for all of you to check out TopOutNews!!Brent, the blog admin, contacted me to check it out. I get a lot of emails to check a lot of things out. Most of the time I end up learning how to grow a larger penis, (Why do I always want to spell this word "Penice") or corresponding with someone in Nigeria. With that said it was nice to find a great GLBT blog that reminded me of the ever infamous Digg .Here's a blurb about what this blog has to offer:This site is for the LGBT community to post their favorite LGBT blog news and website news content links to be voted on each day. It is sort of like Digg.com but just for the LGBT community. So, submit a link to some news on the web, look through the other submitted news stories, and vote on your favorite news each day. Help us fan the flames by letting others know...
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Coming Soon! The New TLL!
2007-12-13 19:18:00
Readers!I am very excited to announce that TLL will be launching from a brand new url soon! We are currently working on making the new site look nice and pretty. Keep an eye out for the new launch date, and while you're at it start thinking about blogs you would like to nominate for the TLL Lesbian Blog of the Year. We will start asking for submission in mid January.If there is something you would like to see on the new blog that we don't have on this one drop us a comment and we'll see what we can do.

personal
2007-12-12 18:31:00
This is the first post I wrote for my own blog. The first piece of writing of my own coming out story, the first time I acknowledged in print that this was my new reality. It was written a few months ago, and a lot has happened since then, but it still means a great deal to me because of what a huge step it was at the time, so I wanted to share it today._______________________________Toda y I happened across the story of Sean William Kennedy, a 20 year old gay man who was killed in a brutal hate crime last spring. I?ve read far too many of these stories before. I?ve always reacted strongly; with sadness, confusion and anger that such hatred exists in this world. I?ve reacted strongly, and then gone about my day in the way that we are all able to do after reading of tragedy ? with the blissful notion that it will never touch us.This time it was different.This time I had not even gotten through the first paragraph when my body began to shake, and tears came to my eyes. I felt dizzy, an...
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Guest Post: From Jan
2007-12-08 23:37:00
Fourteen years ago when I hit a wall of fatigue that was diagnosed as Chronic Fatigue Immune Dysfunction, I made a commitment to purchase organic foods as much as possible. This commitment is for my health AND for the health of the environment. I pay more for groceries, but I feel I am doing something wonderful for this and future generations. Jan var addthis_pub = 'Goldstar';
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A Little Something for a Snowy Saturday
2007-12-08 22:48:00
Seeking the SacredIt comes to this: Knowing the warmth of your hand Upon my touch-starved desert flesh, The soft caress, palm to palm, Fingers twining one to one, Tracing each knuckle bend, each milky nail. I wake remembering a kiss Never given nor received, Yet always offered: My sacrificial lips swollen with the rush Of amorous blood clamoring release. The salty fruit of your skin Lingers upon my tongue's memory. I know the musky tastings Of your dark and secret places, Revealed in frantic tactile urges Pressing, wordless, forward. I will never hold you, But you are mine: Closer than twins Born one atop the other. You have sealed your sacred self Whole within my skin; The profane becomes Holy, and I worship Needing no other church.var addthis_pub = 'Goldstar';
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Introduction
2007-12-08 07:10:00
Hi everyone!My name is Jen, and I just just happened to stumble across this website last week through one of those serendipitous series of clicks that sometimes happens in cyberspace. I'm excited to join the amazing group of contributing authors and thought I would start by sharing the introduction I wrote on my own blog, to tell you a bit about myself.Who am I? That was a far easier question to answer a few months ago, before I started down this journey of exploration and self-acceptance. Now, my sense of self is both more solid and far more confused than it ever was.Let?s start with the basics. I am married, to an incredible man who loves me more than I feel I come close to deserving. I am also a mother of two precious little girls. I?ve lived my life up till this point as a happily married, heterosexual woman. I had acknowledged in the past, both personally and to my husband and my inner circle of friends, an attraction to women that dates back at least to my late teens. I was ...
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Eureka!
2007-12-07 05:20:00
Though I try to keep up with music, I find myself constantly falling behind for a variety of reasons. Like because I play the same three songs from the radio over and over until I?m so sick of them I never want to hear them again so have no time to find ?new? artists. But, one day, I got a note from someone on Facebook, so I went to check her out. I ? her bigtime. Trish Monaco is mixing her latest CD and is taking preorders. There are several good reasons to spontaneously go buy your girlfriend a CD by a ?new? artist?all of which may lead to you ending up naked due to your incredible thoughtfulness. I dig her blog too, where you can actually make an order. Love her lyrics, love her edge. Did I mention I ? her?Visit Lori at Hahn at Home var addthis_pub = 'Goldstar';
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My Big Fat Christmas Nightmare
2007-12-04 17:40:00
About Christmas as such I do not have any reservations. There's only one negative thought I connect with Christmas and this is the burial of my grandfather, nine years ago shortly before the Christmas of 1996. He had died very suddenly of a condition later described as heart insufficiency (I don't know if that's the correct term in English). His funeral was very sombre. It was a cold dreary December day. The priest, who had visited us at home, was very friendly. I had prepared a little piece about my grandfather but wasn't sure if I would be able to say something that day. She said she'd give me a sign when it would be time for me to speak and then I could see if I would feel up to it. Of course I didn't. Being sentimental by nature I nearly drowned in my own tears...This is the connection to the present Christmas time. Again I am flooding the house in tears, the reason being that this year's Christmas is heavily overshadowed by the possibility that my girlfriend might go bac...
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Arthur, Remembered
2007-12-02 02:34:00
Please enjoy this vintage Hahn at Home in honor of Arthur and all those who have died before or since and for all of those surviving with HIV/AIDS. World AIDS/HIV Awareness Day is today. I’ve seen some pretty eloquent blogs on the topic and felt a little inadequate to post anything particularly insightful. Every single person afflicted has a story. Today, that would make over 40 million stories. But, I just want to tell you about one. Arthur was a long, lithe, sexy, beautiful, graceful Black man about my age. He was witty, bright, sardonic, seductive, charming, and though he could occasionally be a Miss Thang, he was mostly just kind. I met him in the last two years of his life. He had been infected very early in the epidemic, probably during his travels with the theater company he sang and danced in—he never really knew for sure. When I first got to Omaha, he was at “the bar� (read: social hub for almost all Omaha over-30 queers). That night I decided I ne...

Top 10 things lesbians need to quit
2007-11-28 17:06:00
10. Quit wearing ties. They are over. Avril stopped, now you can too!(This also goes for popping up your collars, wearing "mom" jeans, and flannel anything!)9. Stop buying pets. My theory is that after you bring the second pet into your home they are not longer pets and just animals. 2 is the magic number. And if you start bringing home shit like rabbits and hamsters (and you don't have kids) you have a problem.8. Communicate in the bedroom. We are both women, talking is what we do. Yes, I too have a lady town, but it doesn't mean our post office is located on the same street. Give a girl some direction.7. Limit your Ani Difanco consumption.6. Quit keeping your sex life a secret. It's about time the world knows our tricks of the trade. Adopt a straight man and let him know how it's done. Tis your civic duty.5. Quit hibernating once in a relationship. It's good to have friends. Remember, they will be there when she's gone!4. Quit smoking. You may think it looks cool at the bars...
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Women's Work
2007-11-26 00:41:00
© 2007 Sandra Jean-PierreDown to riverslowly we tread,I in back, you in the leadUntidy bundlesupon our backs, beneath our armsI carry the buckets,You the washing powder...In silence,we minister to the sweat stains,the work stains, the aroma of our human-nesscloudy swirlson rivers' surface,wash down and out and away,leaving river clear again...In tandemwe develop our rhythm,yetthrough the corner of mine eyes,I spy your scent,dripping from the precipice of your noseBeing wife,I stand, grabbing the hemof my blouseand wipe your forehead.This chore,this cleaning,we women,doing this women's work...Laundered lives,now hanging and flappingdrying in the yardI fill the sink,bathing the vegetablespassing the rinsed onesfor you to peelYou at my side,I taking the leadMine hand on my hip,the other stirring the potfire beneath brewingnourishment and loveyetfrom the corner of your eyeyou see my sway,my exhausted stanceBeing, You, wifeoffer a chairallowing me to sit,taking the spoon from my hand t...
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Lesbian Gamers Launch Website
2007-11-14 15:43:00
I don't know about you ladies, but this girl is a HUGE gamer. The last two months killing people in online multiplayer for Halo 3 on my Xbox 360 has been my own personal therapy. You can imagine how excited I was when I received this press release in my in box. (PS: My gamer tag is KELLY1878 if anyone is interested in playing)Lesbian Gamers Launch Website New Website Dedicated to Lesbian GamersThe blurb says ?because sometimes we like to use our hands for other things?, so clearly the newly launched Lesbian Gamers .com knows how to have fun whilst delivering video game content, for lesbian gamers, by lesbian gamers.Stunned to see the lesbiangamers.com domain name free these women set out on a mission and started the site, which will feature daily news, articles, a forum, shoutbox and reviews - all with a little pinch of tongue in cheek lesbian sprinkles. Originating in Australia, on the sunny Gold Coast, Lesbian Gamers.com launched at the beginning of November and is hoping to gain ...

Will "everything" ever be the same again?
2007-11-04 08:51:00
I'm now lost. Everything used to be a great word. I used to associate "everything" with "freedom". I tell you everything because I can. When I say something to you it is not a mere whim for verbal diarrhea. When I tell you an event or a thought and even the simplest of dreams, the only thing lacking is your presence when it happened because in the story that I am retelling, I do not leave out anything for you. But now I find myself losing to a battle that I was not aware of. That by opening up to you the way I had gotten used to would now mean a tragedy waiting to happen just around the corner. I can no longer tell you everything. I am suddenly turned into an insensitive devil who spits balls of fire without me knowing it. I become a villain who feels horrible in the end when this very villain never deviced a devious plan in the first place. I am bound to say sorry when I never waged a war right from the start.When I tell you something in yellow why do you turn it into red?I speak ...

GUEST POST: From Hayley Johnson in the UK
2007-11-03 16:31:00
Endings and BeginningsWhy do people invest everything they have, all their time, energy, money, emotions, in something as volatile as love? She asks herself as she moves dazedly from room to room of the silent, empty house. Why do we even attempt to try and establish a future, a home, a life, a partnership that we at one time or another, believe will last forever, with something as fickle as another human being? At the door to the living room she pauses, gazing around in complete bafflement. How to even begin dividing things up? How to start the soul destroying process of, ?that?s mine? ?you can have that? or ?we bought that together so...?Their entire lives are encompassed in this place, this house they called a home, filling it with material possessions, laughter and music, voices sometimes raised in an argument, sometimes in the passion and ecstasy of their love. This place they lavishly decorated together, they spent days, weeks, working late in to the night, agreeing on colour ...
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Day Job vs. Passion
2007-11-02 19:01:00
I am working as an HR-Development manager in a multinational company. That's my day job. My passion is writing. Simple as that. Ever since I'm actually able to write.Balancing the two is increasingly difficult as the day job responsibilities are growing and I feel that my job becomes ever so much more demanding and time consuming.Recently I have started writing a historical novel. The story really gripped me from the first line I typed in my word processor. In my job I have a 45-minute lunch break. 15 minutes I spend for the walk from the office to the café and back and for eating my sandwich. 30 minutes I sit there, writing.In the evenings I mostly don't manage a lot in terms of writing because I am just too exhausted and the few hours (like 2 or 3) I need to recharge my batteries and spend time with my girlfriend. She's presently writing her master thesis, which means that the computer and the desk are occupied most of the time and of course an academic thesis with a deadlin...
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Jan's Top 10 Guilty Pleasures
2007-11-02 12:38:00
10. checking out the lesbians in my area and online9. staying up very late (or until early in the morning)8. dancing all night long7. chocolate mousse or chocolate souffle6. Julie's Organic Chocolate ice cream and ice cream bars5. Hummers made with vanilla ice cream4. Sander's Hot Fudge Cream Puff (a tradition in Michigan - now long gone)3. Hagen Daz Dulche de Luche (hum, not sure how to spell)2. reading all day or putzing on the computer1. making love to the woman I loveJan
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The Last Time I Cried
2007-11-02 12:37:00
The Last Time I Criedwas earlier this year. I was still grieving the end of my first lesbian relationship. Then HER brother-in-law died. He was a gentle soul, interested in everything and everybody.He would sit by whomever and meet them where they were. He just dipped into our minds and the conversation started.He was a husband, a father of two beautiful boys, a musician, a friend, a cousin and more. It hurt so much to lose him. The loss felt personal.Some people shouldn't be allowed to leave their bodies until those who remain are ready.....which never happens.I have a lot of experience with families.....there was my family, there was ex #1's family, there was ex #2's family. There were my various friends' families. So when it came to her family, though I am shy and don't know how to start a conversation, I was happy being part of the gathering. I'd occasionally throw in a comment or help set the table. But it wasn't really MY family though they seemed very accepting and fri...
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Guilty as Charged
2007-11-02 01:16:00
Guilty pleasures? Oh my god, I have to narrow it down to 1o? Well, here goes nuttin:1. Taking a long drive to nowhere, just looking at the scenery. (Didn't used to be a guilty pleasure, but now with the price of gas....)2. Watching old movies on TV when I should be dusting, vacuuming, raking leaves, whatever.3. Fritos and French onion dip.4. Watching Iron Chef. (while eating Fritos and French onion dip!)5. Snuggling in with my sweetie when I should be....doing anything else.6. Cooking a steak at midnight 'cause I woke up hungry--and eating the whole thing!7. Going to a movie by myself.8. Re-reading favorite books for the umpteenth time ("You're reading that AGAIN???")9. Taking a nap in the yard while my wife does yardwork (yes, it's happened!)10. Two words--HOT SPRINGS!!!
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Queens....sheesh!
2007-11-01 04:55:00
(cross-posted on my blog)WARNING: Not for the faint of heart....or stomach.Tonight I learned that female cats are called queens. Why should cats get such a regal name when dogs are called bitches? Anyway...What my wife and I just did was out of dire exasperation. My cat, Little Bit, has been in heat for over a week now. Yowling, writhing on the floor like a wanton slut, pissing everywhere...it's been hell. In a class the wife took last semester, we learned that cats don't ovulate without sexual stimulation (neither do camels). One way to stimulate a cat is to use a q-tip. The dry, rough q-tip is probably gentler than a male cat's barbed penis. (People on camel trains do this to camels using their fists...) At first, we thought that the idea ws disgusting. But now we know how horrible it is to have a cat in heat running around the house.Tonight, we fucked the cat with q-tip. It was violent...it stank. She scratched the hell out of my arms and stomach. It took us three tries. Now s...
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Last Day to Raise Money for Children's Charity
2007-10-31 17:17:00
For the past month, Hahn at Home has been part of the voting at Blog Interviewer. I'm trying to take the #3 position. The prize shall be donated to the Sacramento Children's Receiving Home, who work with abused and neglected kids through emergency placement, foster, and group situations. They do good work and their holiday program has started. I'd like to snag one of the big prizes for one of their kids for Christmas.This is the last day of voting. Please click this link and vote THUMBS UP for my blog and tip me into #3. Thank you!Hahn at Home Don't forget to submit your questions to Ask the Middle-Aged Lesbian either!
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Entangled
2007-10-31 15:14:00
© 2003 Sandra Jean-Pierrehip-joints sorebut I won?t beginby complaining$350.00 Armani suitscattered on the floor,but I won?t continue onwhiningthe weight of your torsobetween my butterfly-ed legsyour breasts resting on my steady bellyhead dozing on my tender breastsbut I won?t bore youwith cum-plete detailsof how I find myselfwaking up to being entangledin you?hours later,I stroke my index fingerbeneath my nose and smell yourcuntcolognesalivaelixir still permeating my skinentangled in youfor days laterI find I need to ease into my seatto keep my hips from feeling likethey?ve been on punishmentfor keeping my thighs closedcause I am so entangledin yourswaggerand machisma andyou?the way your breasts give yoursuits a new dimensionand the way youalign yourself to my feelingsthe way you stroke my cheekjust to say, I care - I?m hereI want to always wake upto being opened andentangled in you.
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Forgive Me Father
2007-10-25 16:52:00
© 2007 Sandra Jean-PierreForgive me Fath er ,for I have sinned...It has been half a year since I last tasted the salts of a woman.It has not been for lack of effortor torment of soul,for truth be told,I hungered for her vernal flesh with my entire being.The way her backcurves soft,over me in the moonlight,I have been remisedNo longer do my eyesgrow widefrom the sightof her breastsInstead I keep companywith the many nightsof our memoriesand these cold, hard sweatsForgive me Father,for it has been 6 monthssince the last timeI shared in The Lord's gift of passions.If I could,I would have rationed myself,three nights throesfrom this additionInstead, I would haveindulged in her kissesand done away with whatI thought was my callingin making her a Proper Mrs.I have sinned,Dear Father,I have sinned!It has been 24 weekssince last I grew weak fromthe elixir of hervolition'ssince I succumbed toher wicked womaninsistence that Ihave more of herNOW!Oh...dear God...My judgment-it clouds,with this ...

Ask the Middle-Aged Lesbian
2007-10-24 15:02:00
I've been through the wars. The dyke drama. I am strong. I've attained some wisdom. I am a middle-aged dyke. So, I decided it's time to share my unique spin on things for those who find themselves confused. Join me for my new weekly feature at Hahn at Home Saturdays.Dear Middle -Aged Lesbian ,My girlfriend of 3 years recently bought a cell phone, despite being vehemently opposed to being attached to yet another piece of technology. And, she?s now never without it. In fact, if she walks out of the room and forgets it, she races back in and slides it into her pocket. I was starting to worry she?d never get into the 21st Century! She?s also started taking long speed walks in the evening alone. I asked if I could join her, and she said she needed time to herself. She must be getting in a pretty good workout though, because sometimes she?s gone for 2 or 3 hours. When she comes home, she jumps straight into the shower and into bed and falls fast asleep, poor tired baby. We haven?t made l...
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GUEST POST: She's Perfectly Imperfect!
2007-10-21 18:35:00
My former partner was the first and thus far only woman I have ever loved and ever been sexual with. I'd like to tell you about her because I admire her so very much. We began as friends. After our partnership ended and we'd both grieved the loss, we renewed our friendship. This is a true friendship. We trust each other with our deepest feelings. We want the other to be happy and loved. During our time together, she was a true partner, sharing the joys and sorrows of life, sharing household chores, communicating her needs/wants/hopes. My family did not model speaking the truth or identifying emotions. When issues would come up, as they always do in relationship, my ex-partner would reach deep inside to confirm the integrity of what she was about to say. As I watched her consistently honor her personal truth and communicate her needs, I wanted to be as open and honest. In the past, when I would be upset about something, I would shut down and hide. But I was choosin...
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