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Say No to Crack


Say No to Crack
Funny name, funnier stuff. Daily humor site with funny videos, pictures, jokes, cartoons and more. Appropriate for all ages.
Articles: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7

Articles

My Blackberry Isn?t Working
2011-01-03 18:30:00
I’m not going to let this turn into a video blog, but in the last week I’ve had do deal with some changes to my situation, most relevantly I had to wipe my computer after several days of not working correctly. It’s just good to know that no matter how bad my problems with technology may ...
More About: Blackberry
Cane Comparisons
2010-12-21 04:14:00
Well, sooner than expected I’m walking without a walker, opting instead for a cane. Grandaddy’s cane; actually, great-Grandaddy to me. It was a present to him from a Cooperative that probably had something to do with tobacco farming (he was a tobacco farmer). However, he never used tobacco and he also never ...
Welp
2010-12-08 21:18:00
Between getting more surgeries and re-learning how to do things like walk (or in my case, hobble flailingly), climb stairs (STAAAIIRS), and other such activities, I haven’t been here for you much. That’s the answer to “where the hell was Karen.” Here’s the answer to “Where the hell is Matt?” This made me want to dance…but ...
Clumsiness = Heroism
2010-11-16 23:02:00
Well, I’ve got some news for y’all up in this blog. Yours truly? A hero. Not like a super hero…more like, a super duper hero. Pssh. Amateur. All this time, I thought falling down those stairs and breaking all those bones made me some kind of dumb klutz…but little did I know, ...
How to Gain a Physical Dependency
2010-11-08 16:52:00
Here at SayNoToCrack, we’re against the use of illegal drugs. And the use of legal drugs illegally. But in the past month, due to my accident, I’ve had to consume a number of prescription medications, including a pain killer, which opened me up to a whole new set of experiences: being physically ...
More About: Original , Physical
Adventures in Gravity
2010-11-06 17:02:00
I know how you’re feeling. You’ve opened SNTC in your browser and you’re staring at the screen, the sting of betrayal hot on your mind. You see a new post from Karen and you think, what is this. What could she possibly say? How long has SNTC stood empty of comment, ...
More About: Adventures
Tales of a coworker ? conclusion
2010-08-01 23:52:00
I must admit I’ve saved the best Lee story for last. I won’t go too far into the buildup for this one because it wasn’t entirely family appropriate. Suffice to say, there was one day in particular that Lee was feeling ill and had pains in her stomach muscles. She was threatening to go ...
More About: Tales
A quick break
2010-07-20 01:55:00
Let’s take a break from my stories about Coworker Lee for a moment. Have any of you heard of this thing called the “iPhone”? Well I guess these “iPhones” have weird little programs called “apps” and basically, from what I understand, this is a pretty good representative of such apps: And that’s basically how I feel ...
More About: Videos , Break , Quick
Coworkers (part 2)
2010-07-18 03:33:00
Let’s continue with Lee. In addition to being a stellar craftsman, Lee was also an amateur poet and writer! I remember like it was yesterday the sunny afternoon Lee pulled me aside and told me about the poem she was going to write. When it was completed, she intended to donate the poem to ...
More About: Original , Part
Stories of Coworkers (part 1)
2010-07-16 00:39:00
I won’t even bother apologizing or explaining my absence, I will merely say the word “work.” “Work” is one of those things everyone is all concerned about these days. People having jobs, people stealing jobs. I’ve been fortunate enough (if you will) to not be without an abundance of work. My ...
More About: Stories , Original , Part
5 Things I Wanted as a Kid
2010-05-08 03:07:00
When I was a kid, the movies taught me that there were five things that I wanted. Now, you?ll have to remember that it was the early nineties, and, being a kid, I was impressionable. It is only with adult eyes that I can see that I totally still want these things now. 1. ...
More About: Things
?And on That Note
2010-04-05 20:48:00
After writing my last article I was sent this video. See more funny videos and Funny Videos at Today’s Big Thing. I’m not sure who I feel worse for in this video. But let that stand as a lesson. A kid can be anything he wants to be in life, even a single ...
More About: Note
Motown fixes everything
2010-03-29 18:04:00
So it’s about time I addressed the existence of a song called “Single Ladies.” Everyone else has, including but not limited to that horrible chipmunks movie sequel. Seriously. Alvin and the Chipmunks weren’t even good as cartoons, why on Earth someone would make them live action and real chipmunk sized is beyond my fathoming. ...
Robin Hood Caught
2010-02-25 02:17:00
Well, Denver finally did it. They’ve got Robin Hood in custody. Apparently Hood hasn’t so much been robbing from the rich and giving to the poor as much as stealing identities and feeding his drug habit. He was caught shoplifting some baseball caps, no doubt in order to update his look a bit. Now no ...
More About: Caught
Old People
2010-01-21 00:18:00
Attention old people: You are slow. Could you read that okay? Probably not. YOU ARE SLOW. That?s better. Now, I know some of you probably think I?m being unfair to the older readers here at Say No to Crack, and I concede I am. But of course old people ...
More About: People
Merry Commercialmas!
2009-12-25 04:05:00
Today is the day! At last! The day where kids all over the world leap out of bed at the speed of sound and open their presents in a flurry of paper and ribbons. Merry Christmas! …But you know what? All these new, hip, updated versions of all my favorite Christmas songs ...
Beatology
2009-12-19 02:56:00
Christmas is coming. To tide you good children over until then, here is an educational pre-inactment of what historians will see looking back on twentieth century pop culture. Also, I’m pretty sure I just invented the word “pre-inactment” so nobody use it, it’s mine. Related Posts:No results.
A late return
2009-11-30 02:38:00
Well! I’ve changed jobs recently, tacking a 45-minute commute onto my daily work schedule. And, while I’m sure you’ve been waiting on pins and needles for my return and perhaps have found yourselves frustrated, remember: at least I’m not these people. Someone in Phoenix took out a pair of books and then moved ...
More About: Return
4 People Who Have No Idea How Unattractive They Are
2009-11-05 19:45:00
I’m not talking about genetics attractive. I’m talking about behavior attractive. Sometimes all it takes is one mistake to turn a perfectly lovely person into an unattractive one. This article is here to help them, to help everyone, avoid these mistakes. 4. THE KISSY FACE. It doesn’t work. Not even in black ...
More About: People , Original , Idea
Gun-slinging Granny
2009-10-24 17:03:00
I personally love stories about old people being super. It’s just a comfort to know that no matter how old you get, you can still be rock on awesome. Like that 72-year-old guy who beat up his knife-wielding attacker in June. Best quote of the article: McCalium threw the knife towards Mr Corti ...
Nothing in my life will ever be this cool
2009-10-08 02:54:00
Hey! My internet has been disconnected for a while now, but it’s all up and running after some work by the repairman. Hello again, let’s stay together this time. I want to kick off my newly-returned time on the ‘net with something impossible to load on the dial-up of my friends’: ...
More About: Videos , Life , Cool , My Life
More Funny Vintage Ads ? Baby Edition
2009-09-16 04:59:00
SayNoToCrack has featured funny old ads before, but this batch is a little different. While the world was still advertising cigarettes, tape worms, and spousal abuse in its popular magazines, what kind of marketing was there for the babies? Terrifying marketing, that’s what kind. Babies are belligerent, messy, loud, and incoherent on the best ...
More About: Funny , Baby , Vintage , Edition
One of these things is not like the other thing?
2009-09-14 20:25:00
Back a few years ago a game called Guitar Hero was released and thousands of music hipsters and video game nerds united to the sound of tiny plastic guitar buttons clicking away. Since then, the company that created the game, Harmonix, has split away and invented Rock Band, which is the same, but with a whole ...
More About: Videos , Things , Thing
Oh no what is this
2009-09-04 03:13:00
I’m sick you guys. I don’t know if it’s the swine flu or what; I’ve got no insurance right now so I’m just hanging out here with my grapefruit, thinking about health. Grapefruit grapefruit. So I’m wondering what new sizes my lymph nodes will swell to next, and wandering around the internet. ...
Visitor from Beyond?
2009-08-31 03:57:00
Ghost Video! The tragic death of the King of Pop has been given quite a bit of airtime this summer. I’m honestly not surprised when I find out old MJ is still getting his face onscreen even now… Related Posts:No results.
More About: Videos , Visitor
Yet another advance that will ruin me
2009-08-19 18:26:00
I’m not good at cellphones. I just am not. I’m mean to them, and I frequently keep them in pockets they apparently hate, judging by their constant attempts to jump out of them and into giant puddles and concrete floors. I’ve resigned myself to keeping only “old person” cell phones - the ...
More About: News , Ruin
Building a House of Bricks
2009-08-13 22:53:00
People nowadays seem obsessed with toys and games. I now know more people who can 5-star expert on Guitar Hero than can play 3 chords on a guitar, am friends with a man who battles for his life with foam swords on the weekend, and can myself frequently be found having tea with my ...
More About: News , House , Building , A House , Bricks
Breakin? it Down: All American Rejects
2009-08-11 03:29:00
It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these and in the past I’ve been accused of not picking on the mainstream enough, so here you go. I work at a factory these days, and at that factory there are three radio stations we rotate through: country, classic, and top 40. ...
More About: Original , American , All-American Rejects , Breakin
5 Cool Video Remixes
2009-07-22 00:27:00
Some people, when they watch a commercial or movie or video clip, see a commercial, or a movie, or a video clip. Others, however, see music. Weird, weird, techno music. I have to admire the effort and skill these people put into this eccentric hobby, so here are my top favorite video remixes on ...
More About: Video , Videos , Cool , Remixes
This cannot be real
2009-07-11 00:23:00
What is this. It can’t be a genuine commercial: I’m so confused. What…furniture…why? I think the best part is the two skinny geek-looking guys singing so enthusiastically about the REEEED House! Or possibly the stunning performances by the actors. It’s like watching kids read cue-cards. “I am white. And ...
More About: Videos , Real
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